Trash Can Satirist

I yearn to quit my day job, being a Mohel. I’ve done it for over 500 years and I’m burned out. Maybe Substack will help me accomplish my dream of being a satirist. I want to be on the level of Mark Twain and make people laugh with my sharp wit. In reality, my talents are closer to the level of Oscar the Grouch. Even the part where he lives in a trash can. People used to make fun of me for living in a trash can, back in the 90’s. Things have really changed since then. It must be considered a nice place to live in the future, because Blackstone made me a lucrative offer for it. That tells me they assume there will be a lot more people renting trash cans in the near future. I think I’m going to hold out for a better offer.